I Wouldn’t Lie To You

First of all, huge thanks to those who have left comments and sent messages – 302 of them in my blog email inbox at last count!  It really is nice to know that there are so many people thinking of me and I do plan to answer everyone, it just might take me a little while.

Next, I hereby do solemnly swear to everyone that I really am just fine.  Honestly.  I wouldn’t lie to you.  More than just a few people have remarked that I seem to be taking the diagnosis and probable surgery very well (perhaps a little too well…) but there are a few reasons for this.

1.  I knew there was something wrong.  If I’m dramatic I might even say I knew that there was something very wrong.  So to find out that there is a condition, albeit a rare one, to label all of my symptoms is great but it’s not as though I was blissfully unaware and then had my bliss suddenly punctured.  So, not a shocker to me.

2.  I understand what’s happening.  I am lucky enough to have a neurologist who sat with me for an hour and drew multiple pictures for me to take away.  I’m also lucky enough to have a neurologist and a cardiothoracic surgeon who answered all of my questions (including “So where exactly is the thymus?”).  And I’m also lucky enough to be a qualified librarian so tracking down further facts has been pretty easy.  

3.  I have options.  I have medicine sitting next to me right now, but since I don’t want to take tablets every six hours for the rest of my life I am also in favour of surgery if it’s ultimately, 100% recommended.  A couple of months worth of pain seem like a good trade for a shot at many decades worth of a more normal life.

4.  There’s nothing I can do about it.  I didn’t make it happen and I can’t wish it away.  I lost this draw of the genetic lotto.  Collapsing to the floor with shrieks and sobs isn’t going to change that.  Overall I’ve won far more than I’ve lost so if this is the worst that’s in store for me then I’m not doing too badly.

And thus concludes my thoughts on all of that.  

On a more upbeat note, this weekend Laurence and I celebrated the 10th anniversary of our first date.  Where did that decade go?!