Thank You, Spoon Savers!

Due to the fact that there is not much else to talk about right now, I figured another health update is always appropriate.  

Heard from the neurologist last week and he is marking me a “red flag” case because the medicine I’m currently taking is not agreeing with me.  In fact, I’d say that I feel the worst now that I have since the whole thing started.  The surgeon should be getting back to me in another week or two, but in the meantime I’ve had to cut down on work, cancel dates with friends and I’ve taken to not agreeing to any plans that require advance booking because I never know how I’ll feel on any given day. 

Speaking of days, mine have gotten very slow and very small.  I don’t have a whole lot of strength, so even walking around the city has become difficult again.  The best explanation I’ve found so far of what a typical day is like for me comes from Christine Miserandino’s Spoon Theory.  Please, if you know me in real life, read this now.  

At the moment I feel like I’m functioning with about seven or eight spoons.  One to get up and get out of bed.  One to brush my teeth and take a shower (and possibly another one if I want a really hot shower).  One for each meal of the day and another one to make sure that I take medicine when and how it will cause me  the least number of side effects.  Another one to get through a bit of work and one final spoon (or not, damn that hot shower) for whatever I choose.  Sometimes it’s chores, sometimes it’s errands, sometimes it’s blogging, emailing or even just reading.  On good days I might wake up with an extra two or even three spoons in my back pocket, and on bad days I might wake up and find that I’m down a few spoons.  Something as little as a cold, allergies, getting angry or feeling sad can wipe out three, four, even five spoons for the day.

What this means for me is that everything has become a compromise.  If I want to do my hair, put on some makeup and meet my friends then I’m usually not doing work that day (saving a spoon or two) and don’t have to make a meal (saving another spoon).  If I want to get stuck into a lot of work, then I have to take away a spoon from lunch (ask Larry to bring me something) and maybe even leave a shower until the next day (subtract another).  Sometimes I can save spoons by taking a taxi someplace (plus one), meeting someone for a meal rather than just a drink (plus another) or spreading work over a few days (plus another one or two).  Sometimes I lose spoons because I’m not feeling well or the medicine is kicking my ass (minus one to seven). 

But in the middle of all this troublesome mental math one thing I remain incredibly grateful for is all of my friends who randomly, and sometimes without even knowing it, do little things to help me hold onto my spoons.  From coming to visit to getting my medicine to reading a menu for me I honestly don’t know what I’d do without all of you.  

So thank you, my special spoon savers, thank you very much!